But Bears fans will stand in line to forgive you after a day they never will forget.
They don't want you to stop telling tall tales now either. Fib your way back into the playoffs if you can. Tell Bears Nation another whopper about being out of money after committing $121 million, including $55 million guaranteed, to three players Friday so you can't afford a safety.
Then go out and pursue a safety your team still badly needs. A veteran offensive lineman might be available on the cheap too. And by all means keep shopping for wide receivers. You're not done.
Admittedly that sounds like nitpicking after one of the most eye-popping offseason days in Bears history that saw defensive end Julius Peppers, running back Chester Taylor and tight end Brandon Manumaleuna sign long-term contracts at Halas Hall, football's Fort Knox for a day.
That's where the league's most aggressive buyer surprisingly struck on the first day of free-agency. Just two weeks ago, Phillips answered a question about the impact of labor unrest by saying, "We're not going to be one of those handful of teams sometimes that just goes hog wild in free agency.''
I suppose Phillips defines hog wild as expenditures exceeding $121 million.
In or out of context, nobody who understands NFL supply and demand believed a word the Bears team president said anyway. Everybody knew the Bears had no choice Friday but to respond to the urgency of their situation the way a team in the league's second-largest market should — regardless of Phillips' empty rhetoric.
Surely Phillips never has enjoyed being caught in a white lie more than Friday.
The Bears continued to debunk the outdated myth that the franchise is cheap, adding to a payroll that ESPN ranked fifth in the NFL last year. They reached deep into the McCaskeys' pockets and then kept digging.
By the way, when exactly did the Bears become the Redskins?
Virginia McCaskey must be on vacation, and if you are, Mrs. McCaskey, you may consider switching to a budget hotel. Your family business is spending like an heiress with daddy's credit card.
But what wise investments they appear to be.
Peppers gives the Bears their purest pass-rusher since Richard Dent in the 1980s. Taylor offers incumbent running back Matt Forte a complement and a competition Forte's likely to lose. Manumaleuna gives the Bears essentially a third guard who will improve the short-yardage run game and, as a bonus, can catch passes too.
Long-term, the Bears gave their playoff chances a big boost by improving their pass rush and running game. Short-term, they gave their fan base hope that had all but withered away during a long, confusing winter of discontent.
Credit the Bears' method behind their mad spending spree.
Lovie Smith made the lasting first impression no other coach dared by flying Thursday night to Charlotte, N.C., to meet the league's most prized free-agent at the first possible moment after 11:01 p.m. Central. Smith accompanied Peppers and agent Carl Carey back to Chicago on Friday, presumably to ensure the plane didn't take a right turn to Washington.
If Smith had made calls this shrewd and aggressive last year as the defensive play-caller, the Bears may not have been in position to need Peppers as badly as they did. But desperate times called for desperate measures.
So, all hail, Julius became team policy.
The Bears knew Peppers had researched them almost as much as they had studied his past. They discovered his respect for Smith mattered. It never would matter as much as $42 million guaranteed — cash ultimately makes up every free-agent's mind — but the Lovie connection was something that provided the Bears an opportunity.
In football terms, the gesture of flying down to Peppers' home was the Bears' way of taking advantage of good field position. Angelo and Bears money man Cliff Stein punched it in Friday afternoon by closing the third of three deals.
Critics will say the Bears overpaid. Of course they did. That is what 7-9 teams that have missed the playoffs three straight years do. Mediocrity isn't cheap. The way Angelo and Smith figure it, if they're right, it will be money well spent. If they're wrong, it could be Bill Cowher's problem.
Two other factors made the Bears historically bold with their checkbook. Remember, the organization saved at least $20 million the minute ownership decided to bring back Smith and Angelo instead of buying out their contracts and changing regimes. Secondly, because of the Jay Cutler trade, the Bears didn't have a first-round draft pick demanding as much as $20 million in guarantees. Do the math.
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